Tuesday, February 23, 2010

only one chance

I've been working on making samples of atcs for a workshop I am scheduled to teach next month. This one has tiny squares with raw edges and is embellished with beads.

This is not what today looks like, although this day does look a little blurry. Today it is raining and cold. I've returned from a memorial gathering for someone who was so kind and generous that when I try to write about her I keep rewriting everything I write because it sounds so trite.

I wish I had spent more time with her and had gone walking with her when I promised I would. She was only 63.  I regret that I was so distracted by my own losses and fears and issues that I did not and probably still don't adequately appreciate what I have. What I saw today was a glimpse of the sweet vision she had of her life and home.

11 comments:

Vicky~ stichr ~ said...

Ah to be the perfect friend, person, human being.....opps, dreaming again. Living with panic attacks has left me regret every little league game not attended...etc. That hurts, but can't be undone, so I think about the times I was able to attend, and smile knowing not all was lost.

Mary said...

I'm sorry you lost a friend. I'm sure you were a good friend - we are always hardest on ourselves. That ATC is beautiful by the way. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Bea said...

Next time you take a walk, smile, look over your left shoulder and invite her along. Talk to her as if she was beside you. Laugh and smile and know that she valued you as a friend just as you were. :)Bea

Mrs Moen said...

I'm so sorry you have lost your friend, Deborah! We do our best with all the baggage we keep lugging around. Being such a kind and generous friend, I'm sure she knew you and understood.

BT said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Don't beat yourself up about what you didn't do, just think of what you did do.

I love love that ATC. I am in a group of 10 and we go through the alphabet making appropriate ATCs. It's such fun. I might try your idea, I love working with fabric.

Kaye Turner said...

The ATC is beautiful. I'm sorry to hear about your sadness.

layers said...

loss is always hard and we always have this stream of thought of what ifs -- going for walks help as well as doing our art work-- which is nice by the way.

Suzanne Kistler said...

I understand your sadness and the regrets you now feel. Been there, felt that.

Today is a new day. When you have the chance to walk with a friend, perhaps this time the opportunity will be taken. Isn't it amazing to see how life's losses cause us to re-evaluate? We have to take it one day at a time, and make the most of that one day.

Hugs to you.

Sandra said...

I'm sorry to hear that you lost a friend. And I recognize your feelings of thinking that you should have done more. But it is not only the doing part that counts. I think she knew you were with her all the time.

Take care.

XXX

Ella said...

Beautiful!!!

Ella said...

Sorry for your friend!